Allthyngs

According to Science, a really powerful earthquake can speed up Earth’s rotation by shoving stuff closer to the planet’s axis, and if that happened then days would get shorter. According to even more science, the earthquake in Chile this weekend did exactly that, and now every day is 1.26 microseconds shorter. So now you get to live to be older! I mean, over 90 years that comes out to a 20th of a second more of a day you get to live, but every second counts I guess. Also, I’m pretty sure this means that Robin Hood will come out about 1/20,000th of a second sooner, which is kind of cool I guess.

Read more about this microscopic change in your daily life on the Huffington Post

Come on, Texas. If you want to secede from the Union, you have to at least be able to catch a billy goat. This Saturday, a goat got loose in a parking lot near the University of Texas-Permian Basin, and it took four police officers, two animal control officers and an off duty cop on a motorcycle 30 minutes to catch him. For those of you struggling with the maths, that means one goat is about as smart as seven Texans. Congratulations, Texas, and please remember that you’re more than welcome to secede whenever you’d like. Seriously, nobody’s stopping you, you do what you gotta do.

Read more about the story at MSNBC.com

I’m a big proponent of people staying fit and taking care of their bodies. I try not to eat shit and workout as often as possible. While I slack off for sure at college, and maybe consume some things I ought not to, I stay healthy. Additionally, I think athletic participation is great because it keeps you in shape and team sports are great for building relationships. I think anyone who wants to cut gym from school programs is a lunatic and most likely a follower of Chairman Mao. Regardless, I highly question the validity and value of Quidditch as an organized, school sanctioned sport. Judging from this article, it has spread into high schools as well. I enjoyed the Harry Potter series too, and my fraternity just had a “Harry Potter and the Half Blood Pikes” party on Saturday. All of that aside, I worry about those who derive “athletic exertion” from a game founded upon the principle of flying broomsticks and a golden flying snitch. Call me a cynic, but at least I’m sane.

Read more about this “sport” at dailycal.org

I’d be a little more homesick if the Saints hadn’t just won the Mother Fucking Super Bowl. WHO DAT! Sorry, anyway, I was telling you about this huge snowball fight in Dupont Circle. According to the Huffington Post, over 2,000 people descended on Dupont Circle in Washington DC for a massive snowball fight that was organized via Facebook and Twitter. Unfortunately however, the snowball fight couldn’t actually be fought because Joe Lieberman decided to filibuster.

See more pictures on the Huffington Post

Apparently that’s a crime now? Shit, thanks for the heads up. If only someone had told Rip (remember him? He was Zed, the boss, in Men in Black?) that before he (allegedly) stumbled drunk into a Connecticut bank with a loaded handgun while stinking drunk on Friday. For those of you studying Bank Robbing Strategy, he was apparently unsuccessful.

Read more at The Huffington Post

Teen pregnancy is going up, Someone saw a gun on Northwestern University’s campus so the whole school shut down, Hayden Panettiere died her hair red, A man was arrested for smuggling 44 lizards in his underwear, another guy was arrested for head-butting a grocer over the price of crab cakes, and PETA wants to replace Punxsutawny Phil with a robot.

Obama’s keeping 50 prisoners at Guantanamo for now, Filibuster reform if gonna be introduced to the Senate, A Russian Cop with a YouTube account was arrested for fraud, and Jay Leno’s gonna perform at the White House Correspondents Dinner this year.

Obama supports breaking up big banks, the Supreme Court doesn’t like democracy, Conan and NBC officially make a deal, the President of Middlebury wants the Vermont drinking age to be 18, and apparently Marisa Miller isn’t leaving Victoria’s secret. Oops, sorry.

Just in case you’re already scrambling to find a place to have your romantic Valentine’s Day getaway– look no further. White Castle is offering a special romantic dinner package for couples, including their picture on the restaurant’s website! The purpose of fast food is to eat quickly and then get out, which isn’t very romantic, but maybe some couples will want to cut to what happens after burgers and shakes..?

http://www.whitecastle.com/promotions/valentine

The TSA still doesn’t have a leader, Republican Scott Brown won in Massachusetts, Marisa Miller’s leaving Victoria’s Secret, NewYorkTimes.com will be charging for content, 23 people died in a Mexican prison brawl, and somebody stole a German pirate skull from a museum.

There are many times when I find myself wishing I lived in New York, and now is definitely one of them.  There’s gonna be a food vendor that sells “artisan” grilled cheese, whatever that means.  There’s even a chocolate one, wow wow wow wow.  Will this honestly get good business?  Also, the sandwiches are a [...]